The Entry Point

It started in a way I didn't expect.

During that period right after everything had slowed down… when life was starting to pick back up, but not quite in the same way… I found myself with more time than I was used to.

I had just started working from home.

Which, in theory, should have still been productive.

In reality… it meant I was online. A lot.

TikTok, mostly.

And I was consuming media in a way I hadn't before.

Now, this is how I remember that time.

This big boy band… went to war.

That's what everyone was talking about.

And I had no idea who they were. 😭

Everybody was doing this same hip dance…

Astrology was plastered everywhere…

And before I realized it… I had gotten completely immersed in the world of TikTok.

It felt like I had stumbled into a completely different side of the internet.

One I hadn't really been part of before.

But that's how it starts.

You don't go looking for it.

You just… come across it.

One video turns into a few.

A few turn into an algorithm.

And before you realize it… you're being introduced to entire worlds you didn't even know existed.

Astrology was one of them.

At first, it felt light.

Entertaining.

Just something interesting to watch.

But the more I saw… the more it started to pull my attention.

There was something about it that felt… almost accurate.

Like it was describing people in a way that wasn't random.

So naturally, I wanted to understand it.

Not just watch it… but actually learn it.

I started with tropical astrology, like most people do.

Learning placements.

Looking at charts.

Trying to piece together what everything meant.

But that's where things started to get frustrating.

Because I didn't actually know how to read a chart.

Not really.

I would go on the typical astrology sites…

trying to figure it out.

But nothing ever gave me the full picture.

The information felt static.

Like it wasn't meant to be questioned.

And I had questions.

A lot of them.

But there wasn't really anyone to ask.

Most people around me weren't into astrology like that.

So I did what everyone does.

I went online.

And that's when it got even more confusing.

Because everything I found…

was different.

The same placements had multiple interpretations.

The same aspects meant different things depending on who you asked.

Nothing felt consistent.

Nothing felt cohesive.

So instead of understanding more…

I just ended up more confused.

And that became a pattern.

Every time I thought I was getting closer to understanding it…

I would run into something that didn't quite make sense.

Not enough to make me stop.

Just enough to make me pause.

Because it always felt like I was missing something.

✧ Reflection

It wasn't that astrology didn't work.

It was that something about it never fully came into focus.

And no matter how much I tried to understand it…

that feeling didn't go away.

If you've ever felt like you were close to understanding your chart… but not quite there… you're not the only one.

In Chapter 2, I'll go deeper into what happened when I tried to find clearer answers… and why even more information didn't bring the clarity I was looking for.